R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
