Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
last night I used snow as a chaser
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
