your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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