we have officially lost it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
