Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
