his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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