Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
