you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
