Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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