There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
