you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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