Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
