No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
vagina is talking i cant
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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