If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
