i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
