This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
