I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
