be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't deserve a penis
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
