i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
