Sorry, I don't speak sober.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize