when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
