And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
