Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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