First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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