hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize