so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
