is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
