Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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