You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
