all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
