He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
