I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize