you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
