sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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