Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
