i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
