I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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