wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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