Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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