her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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