how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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