I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize