Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
