i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
