Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
