To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
