could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
