walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize