that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
