Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
