so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They took my balls.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
