Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
