well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
