yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Still dying that you shit outside
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize