I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
