i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
