and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
