Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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