Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
