Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
