Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
