remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize