my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
