Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
