im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
