he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
