why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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