girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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