dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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