Jerry, you need to find god
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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